Psoriatic arthritis.

I was told that Enbrel’s patent expired in 2012 and that then, a generic might appear and might be cheaper or whatever, but apparently their patent got extended another 16 years. I really wonder how this is going to affect me. It makes me want to cry just to think about not having that medicine, and what that might mean, especially now, with my weird foot. This is why I need to focus on gratitude and in being content in every circumstance, because I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It’s just so hard to have it and then have it taken away from me. I hate the health insurance industry.

Psoriatic arthr…


A discipline like fasting can be very helpful to develop gratitude, because when I fast I learn that it’s possible for me to have an unfulfilled desire and survive. We live in a world that says you can’t survive with unfulfilled desires. When I fast I learn it’s possible for me to have an unfulfilled desire and survive, and eventually it’s possible to have an unfulfilled desire and still have joy and gratitude, and maybe one day I will no longer live at the mercy of unfulfilled desires.

Maybe one day, through the power of God, through practices like fasting, I will learn that a human being is not just a bundle of desires waiting to be filled up. See, we live with this illusion – if I just had _________. You fill in the blank. The house I want, the car I want, the clothes I want, the spouse I want, the marriage I want, the kids I want, the career I want, the success I want. If I just had that, then I’d be grateful.

It’s not true, and it’s especially not true for followers of Christ. Because if we’re not grateful now… we have the gift of life, we’re children of God, we have salvation through Christ, we have a community of faith, we have guidance and power through the Holy Spirit.

But here’s the illusion – “If I had the gift of life, if I was a child of God, if I had salvation through Christ, if I had a community of faith, if I had the guidance and power of the Spirit – plus a really cool car, plus a really nice house, plus whatever.” The illusion is, then I’d be a grateful person.

We really need to think this one through. We can go on filling in the blank for the rest of our lives, and it will never be enough. Circumstances and a whole lot of nice stuff cannot create a grateful person.

We must humbly become a student of Jesus and learn to give thanks at all times, to become a grateful person.

A discipline li…

Sometimes it feels like my stability is just hanging by a little thread, able to break at any moment. I don’t even mean emotional stability, or mental or spiritual stability, I mean like functioning in the world. Like I’m balancing so many things and have so many tasks that I’m just going to break in half and cease to exist.

Sometimes it fe…

A constant low level of stress = mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There are two levels at which the glory of God may shine forth from a Christian marriage:

One is at the structural level when both spouses fulfill the roles God intended for them — the man as leader like Christ, the wife as advocate and follower of that leadership. When those roles are lived out, the glory of Gods love and wisdom in Christ is displayed to the world.

But there is another deeper, more foundational level where the glory of God must shine if these roles are to be sustained as God designed. The power and impulse to carry through the self-denial and daily, monthly, yearly dying that will be required in loving an imperfect wife and loving an imperfect husband must come from a hope-giving, soul-sustaining, superior satisfaction in God.

I dont think that our love for our wives or theirs for us will glorify God until it flows from a heart that delights in God more than marriage. Marriage will be preserved for the glory of God and shaped for the glory of God when the glory of God is more precious to us than marriage.

Excerpted from John Piper, “The Surpassing Goal: Marriage Lived for the Glory of God,” Building Strong Families, Wheaton: Crossway, 2002. 96.

via How Gods Glory Shines in Christian Marriage – Desiring God.

Death Cab: Encouraging dissatisfaction in relationships since 1997.

God is in control, he knows what is best for me and he has my best interests in mind. I need only to trust him and do the best I can where I am planted.

God is in contr…

Psalm 28:

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked, 
   with those who do evil, 
who speak cordially with their neighbors 
   but harbor malice in their hearts. 
4 Repay them for their deeds 
   and for their evil work; 
repay them for what their hands have done 
   and bring back on them what they deserve.

 5 Because they have no regard for the deeds of the LORD 
   and what his hands have done, 
he will tear them down 
   and never build them up again.

 6 Praise be to the LORD, 
   for he has heard my cry for mercy. 
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; 
   my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. 
My heart leaps for joy, 
   and with my song I praise him.

Psalm 28:3 Do …

Psalms are doing me well today

Psalm 27:

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— 
   whom shall I fear? 
The LORD is the stronghold of my life— 
   of whom shall I be afraid?

 2 When the wicked advance against me 
   to devour me, 
it is my enemies and my foes 
   who will stumble and fall. 
3 Though an army besiege me, 
   my heart will not fear; 
though war break out against me, 
   even then I will be confident.

 4 One thing I ask from the LORD, 
   this only do I seek: 
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD 
   all the days of my life, 
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD 
   and to seek him in his temple. 
5 For in the day of trouble 
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling; 
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent 
   and set me high upon a rock.

 6 Then my head will be exalted 
   above the enemies who surround me; 
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; 
   I will sing and make music to the LORD.

 7 Hear my voice when I call, LORD; 
   be merciful to me and answer me. 
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” 
   Your face, LORD, I will seek. 
9 Do not hide your face from me, 
   do not turn your servant away in anger; 
   you have been my helper. 
Do not reject me or forsake me, 
   God my Savior. 
10 Though my father and mother forsake me, 
   the LORD will receive me. 
11 Teach me your way, LORD; 
   lead me in a straight path 
   because of my oppressors. 
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, 
   for false witnesses rise up against me, 
   spouting malicious accusations.

 13 I remain confident of this: 
   I will see the goodness of the LORD 
   in the land of the living. 
14 Wait for the LORD; 
   be strong and take heart 
   and wait for the LORD.